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AmoyMagic-- Travel , Resident and Business Guide to Xiamen and Fujian
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Favorite Fujian tourist sites , in order: Xiamen Quanzhou Longyan Hakka earthen houses Wuyi mountain Ningde
#1Fujian Sites!
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AmoyMagic--Guide to Xiamen & Fujian
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Ancient Chinese Humor!

Chinese Jokes and Chinese Cartoons
Click for Funny Fotos! (hilarious!)
Chinese humor
Click for 10 Reasons there will be no Chinese President of U.S. anytime soon!)

Ming Dynasty Tales of Henpecked Hans
We Laowai and Laonei are more alike than we realize, and nothing brings it home better than these ancient Ming Dynasty tales of henpecked Hans. I hope Susan Marie doesn’t read them….Ancient Chinese joke about henpecked Han Chinese husbands.  "I'll com e out from under the bed when I'm good and ready!

When I’m Ready!
After his wife had beaten him badly, a man crawled under his family bed. “Come out this instant!” his wife screamed.
“I am man enough to do as I please!” he said. “And I’ll come out when I’m good and ready.”

Till Death Do We Part
A number of henpecked men were holding an emergency meeting to discuss ways to regain their dignity. A bachelor prankster walked into their midst and said, “Your wives heard of this gathering and are all on their way here to deal with you.” All but one panicked and dashed out the door.
“He’s the only one with courage to stand up to his wife!” the bachelor exclaimed. But closer examination revealed he’d died of fright.

Grapes of Wrath
A magistrate asked his court clerk how he got the scratches on his face. The embarrassed clerk said, “Last night, I was walking in the yard, taking in the cool night air, when a grape trellis fell on me and scratched my face.”
The magistrate declared, “Only a wife could do this. Have her brought here this instant.”
But the magistrate’s own wife had been hiding in the next room, and hearing this she stormed into the court. The terrified magistrate shouted, “Court’s in recess! Clear the court! My own trellis is coming down!”

Ancient Doctor Tales!
Ancient Chinese had plenty of doctor jokes as well. Here are a few of my favorites.

Ancient Chinese tale about medicine men -- :First things first!First Things First (Ming Dynasty Tale, 1368-1644)
A doctor was detained by the furious relatives of a patient he had killed with the wrong prescription, but he escaped by night and swam across a wide river to reach home. When he saw his son studying medical texts, he said, “Don’t be in such a hurry to study medicine. First things first. And first, learn to swim.”

Quack Compensation – A Qing Dynasty Tale (1644 -1912) When a quack doctor’s treatment killed a family’s son, he was forced to give them his own son. He lost his daughter in the same way. One day a man knocked on his door and asked his help. “Who’s the patient?” the doctor asked.
“My wife.”
The tearful doctor told his wife, “Sweetheart, I fear someone has taken a fancy to you.”


Getting the Boot (Ming Dynasty Tale, 1368-1644) Ancient Chinese Joke about doctors-- Anything but the hands!
A heavily laden woodcutter stumbled into the local doctor on a narrow path. When the doctor drew back his fist to hit him, the woodcutter dropped to his knees and begged, “Please kick me instead.”
A bystander asked, “Why would you rather him kick you?”
The terrified woodcutter replied, “Treatment by his hands would be much deadlier than with his feet!”

Religious Jokes Americans warn against "talking religion or politics," but ancient Chinese did not fear poking fun at either one--though this joke probably really bugged Buddhists...

Buddha's Bugs! (A Qing Dynasty Tale) Amoy Magic Guide to Xiamen, Guide to Fujian, Fujian Adventure, Mystic Quanzhou City of Light, Chinese Humor, cartoon, henpecked Han Chinese, Chinese joke, Chi
A Buddhist monk vowed to offer his blood to feed other living things, but after mosquitoes had bitten him for hours the itching got to him and he began swatting them with abandon.
“What happened to your vow?” asked a bystander.
The monk sighed. “Some of them have started coming back for seconds.”

 

Ancient Political Jokes!

Amoy Magic Guide to Xiamen, Guide to Fujian, Fujian Adventure, Mystic Quanzhou City of Light, Chinese Humor, cartoon, henpecked Han Chinese, Chinese joke, ChiMan of the People (Chinese, not Americans, invented polical jokes!)
A newly appointed official decided to impress folks with his moral virtues by writing three phrases on the walls of his office:
1. Don’t covet money.
2. Don’t desire promotions.
3. Don’t fear death.


A few days later some wit added two characters to the bottom of each:
1. in small quantities.
2. unless it’s much higher than this one.
3. But I want to live as long as I can.

Gold Rats and Oxen (Ming Dynasty, 1368-1644)
On his birthday, an official's subordinates chipped in to give him a life-sized solid gold rat, since he was born in the year of the rat (each year of a twelve year cycle has a different animal). The official thanked them, then asked, "Did you know that my wife's birthday is coming up? She was born in the year of the ox."

More ancient Chinese humor? Read "Amoy Magic--Guide to Xiamen and Fujian!"

TRAVEL LINKS Hakka Earthen architecture Favorite Fujian Sites Photographs of Fuhken places like Zhangzhou, Longyan, Ningde, Sanming, Wuyi MountainFujian Foto Album AmoyMagic-- Travel , Resident and Business Guide to Xiamen and FujianXiamen Gulangyu Kulangyu Kolongsoo Kolongsu KulongsuGulangyu Guide to Fukien Fuhken Fujian Guides Mystic Quanzhou -- the fabled port of Zayton ( or Zaytun Zaitun Zaiton ) from which Marco Polo sailed,  Sinbad the Arab visited.  ChinchewQuanzhou Zhangzhou  changchow Zhangzhou Longyan Yongding Liancheng Changting Amoy Tigers LianchengLongyan Wuyi Mountain Guide Zhuxi  tea Wuyi Mtn Ningde Taimu Mountain ZhouningNingde Putian Fujian Xianyou Mazu TemplePutian Sanming Scenic Wonderland Mingxi Gem bed rubies Sanming
Zhouning Carp VillageZhouning
Hakka Earthen architecture Taimu Mtn. Hakka Earthen architecture Roundhouses Fujian covered wooden bridgesBridges Hakka Earthen architecture Jiangxi Hakka Earthen architecture Guilin Help Build an online  community for foreigners.  Join the Xiamen Guide forumOrder Books
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Gulangyu Kulangyu Kolongsoo Kolongsu Kulongsu
Gulangyu

Guide to Xiamen University Historic and modern, including departments -- Arts Science computers mathematics accounting management law department etc.Xiamen Univ

Mystic Quanzhou -- the fabled port of Zayton ( or Zaytun Zaitun Zaiton ) from which Marco Polo sailed,  Sinbad the Arab visited.  Chinchew
Quanzhou

AmoyMagic-- Travel , Resident and Business Guide to Xiamen and Fujian
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Fujian Adv

Guide to Fukien Fuhken  Bilingual Chinese English Parallel with MP3 CDFujianGuide

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DAILY LINKS
Frequently Asked Questions about Xiamen andFujianFAQs Questions?
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Hire a Maid Household help servant baomu amah etc.Maids Xiamen Emergency and Frequently used telephone numbersPhone #s
EDUCATION
Xiamen University GuideXiamen University
Xiamen International School  International Baccalaureate ProgramXIS(Int'l School)
Study Mandarin Chinese or Minnan Dialect at Xiamen University  or with private tutorStudy Mandarin
 
China Studies Program Xiamen University  Council for Christian Colleges and Universities Washington D.C. Jay LundeliusCSP(China Studies)
Piano Island Music Events Xiamen Philharmonic OrchestraLibrary Xiamen Museum Library Science Center  World's largest organ museum Asia's largest piano museum China's first anthropology museum Sino Eurolpean art museum etc.Museums
History of Amoy Changchow Chinchew Zaiton Fukien etc.History
DINING
Xiamen restaurants dining western and Chinese cuisineRestaurants Xiamen Asian restaurants -- Singapore Thailand Thai Malaysian  Japanese Korean PhilippineAsian
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Western (Internationall) Cuisine in XiamenInternationalAlien visa info -- Americans, Europeans E.T. Outer space visitors
Chinese visa and passport informationVisas 4 aliens
RECREATION
Hakka Earthen architecture Massage!
Hakka Earthen architecture Beaches Kite Flying in Xiamen ChinaFly Kites
Sports -- Golf, Badminton Tennis Bowling Paint BallSports Xiamen Boardwalk One of the most beautiful boardwalks in China or anywhere else.  Along the Island Ring road over 6km long so far.Boardwalk
Xiamen Parks, recreation, hiking boardwalk etcParks Xiamen Museum Library Science Center etcPets
Bird watching in Xiamen Amoy  SwinhoeBirdwatching
Martial arts Chinese Kung FuKung Fu Hiking around Xiamen BushwalksHiking
Piano Island Music Events Xiamen Philharmonic OrchestraMusic Events
Chinese festivals and culture minnanFestival&Culture
Chinese Jokes Humor Funny China photosHumor&Chinese Jokes Humor Funny China photosFun Fotosfunny photos of China
BUSINESS
Doing Business Invest in Xiamen Fujian ChinaDoing Business
Work or teach in Xiamen, Quanzhou or other Fujian schools and universities  English French RussianJobs!(teach/work)
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