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AmoyMagic-- Travel , Resident and Business Guide to Xiamen and Fujian
Xiamen Gulangyu Kulangyu Kolongsoo Kolongsu KulongsuGulangyu
Jimei Tan Kah Kee Jimei University Turtle Garden Jimei AmoyMagic-- Travel , Resident and Business Guide to Xiamen and FujianTong'an
Jinmen Quemoy Matsu Taiwan
Jinmen
Zhangzhou  changchow Zhangzhou
Discover Quanzhou, ancient start of maritime silk route ( or Zaytun Zaitun Zaiton ) from which Marco Polo sailed,  Sinbad the Arab visited.  ChinchewQuanzhou Wuyi Mountain Guide Zhuxi  tea Wuyi
Favorite Fujian tourist sites , in order: Xiamen Quanzhou Longyan Hakka earthen houses Wuyi mountain Ningde
#1Fujian Sites!
Photographs of Fuhken places like Zhangzhou, Longyan, Ningde, Sanming, Wuyi Mountain
Fujian Foto Album
Guidebooks about Fujian and Xiamen Fujian Adventure Discover Quanzhou Discover Gulangyu Magic Fujian etc.Books on Fujian
Letters from AmoyMagic ReadersReaders'Letters

Ningde Taimu Mountain ZhouningNingde Zhouning Carp VillageZhouning
Longyan Yongding Hakka round houses earthen architectureLongyan Sanming Scenic Wonderland Mingxi Gem bed rubies Sanming

Putian Fujian Xianyou Mazu TemplePutian Fujian covered wooden bridgesBridges
Xiamen travel agents and ticketing for trains, planes and automobiles
Travel Info,
Hakka Earthen architecture Hakka Roundhouses

Xiamen Travel Agents and Tour Guides English SpeakingTravel Agents

MISC. LINKS
Historical and Modern Amoy People -- Colorful Characters!Amoy People! amoy mission missionaries
Darwinian Driving Survival of the Fastest DarwinDarwin Driving
Darwin Chinese Driving Survival of fastest
South China Tigers -- our Amoy Kitty CatsAmoy Tigers
Chinese inventions compass gunpowder printing paper zoos newspaper etc.Chinese Inventions
1994 80 day 40,000 km drive to Tibet & backTibet in 80 Days!forty thousand kilometer drive around China
Dethroned Perils of Chinese Potty ToiletDethroned!
Chinese bathrooms
Writings by Bill Brown about life in China,  Fukien Xiamen etc. Includes 80 Day Drive to Tibet  Darwinian Driving Misc.Writings
Latest news tips ideas updatesLatest News
OpiumWars short history and background of the Opium Wars between China Britain Europe missionaries battle against opium addiction etc.Lord of Opium
Kite Flying in Xiamen ChinaBack to Main Page

Chinese Kung Fu and Martial Arts Korean Tae Kwon Do  Japanese JujitsuMartial arts Chinese Kung FuKung Fu

 

AmoyMagic--Guide to Xiamen & Fujian
Copyright 2001-7 by Sue Brown & Dr. Bill Help Build an online  community for foreigners.  Join the Xiamen Guide forumOrder Books Common Talk Xiamen Dailys Weekly English SupplementXiamenguide Forum Guide to Xiamen and Fujian business tourism history culture cuisine entertainment investment Guide to Xiamen hsiamen amoy fuhken fukien
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DethronedSquatter's Rights? Chinese toilet cartoon --Perils of Chinese Potties and TP! (written with hindsight)
Click for "Signs Above Chinese Urinals"

I love China, but I'm sometimes thrown for a loop by the most mundane things--like Chinese toilets. I was shocked then I learned they are little more than a white ceramic hole in the ground. "Where on earth do I sit?" I asked.

"YA potty chair over a Chinese pot--someone is really using their head to use this head!ou don't sit," Susan Marie explained carefully, as if I were one of her sons, and not her husband. "You plant your feet on the raised rectangular or shoe-shaped platforms and squat."

"You're kidding!" I valiantly gave it a go--and lost face when I fell on my face. When Sue saw that I could not squat flat-footed without holding on for dear life to a wall or pipe, she demanded,"

"What do you mean you can't squat?" I can do it! Your sons can do it! You're the only one in the world, Bill Brown, who can't squat!"Chinese Humor, Chinese toilet,

"Easy for you to claim squatter's right!" I grumbled. "You were born and raised in Taiwan, and Shannon and Matthew grew up in Xiamen. But I'm an American and I can't squat!"

Alas, years of comfortably ensconcing myself upon the great ceramic, and sometimes cushioned, thrones of American restrooms (ah, restful indeed!) have rendered my body too inflexible for flat-footed squatting, no matter how desperate the situation. Barbie, Ken, and G.I. Joe may be fully bendable, I am not.

Ironically, Chinese are the ones who invented the sit-down flush toilet that I so long for--though I must confess that the squat versions are indeed more practical and durable. Not much can go wrong with a ceramic hole, and there are no lids or seat rings to clean or fix (because seat rings often break when unlightened souls squat atop the Western sit-down toilets in China's western restaurants). But practicality notwithstanding, I still miss the days of sitting pretty upon the throne while browsing the newspaper or Reader's Digest (or, nowadays, Xiamen Daily's weekly English supplement, Common Talk).

Fortunately, while Chinese ceramic holes are still the norm, toilet paper has improved immensely. Not surprisingly, Chinese invented toilet paper as well as toilets. Almost 1,000 years ago, imperial households employed small squares of perfumed paper upon their royal rears. Even commoners used recycled paper--though one scholar firmly opposed using paper with poetry upon it. But when I came to Xiamen in 1988, I was hard pressed to believe that TP was a Chinese invention. Xiamen TP felt like recycled sandpaper, and it was months before our tender bourgeois bottoms could cope.

Fortunately, Xiamen firms now put out quality TP, and it turns out that foreign burgeois buttocks weren't the only ones ready for pampering. The Sons of the Dragon's derrieres also prize the new TP, many of which have fragrances, and delicate prints (which I suspect one must read with hindsight). An American lady in Quanzhou told me that her favorite brand was "Mind Act Upon Mind," which boasts, "For soft and comfortable life you can really feel good."

But for life to be soft and comfortable for me, I need an American sit-down toilet, because Susan Marie's disdain notwithstanding, I still can't squat--but at least while I struggle I have plenty of good reading material, thanks to a library of "Uncle John's Bathroom Readers!"

Become a member in good sitting with the Bathroom Reader's Institute! Visit: http://www.bathroomreader.com

Signs Above Chinese Urinals!
Chinese Restaurant: "Please Step Closer."
McDonalds: "Be Civilized. Please stand closer."
Sign (English only) in Nanchang (Jiangxi) restaurant: "Please Don't Shake It." (Shake it? From the state of things I thought the guys were practicing calligraphy on the walls!).

TRAVEL LINKS Hakka Earthen architecture Favorite Fujian Sites Photographs of Fuhken places like Zhangzhou, Longyan, Ningde, Sanming, Wuyi MountainFujian Foto Album AmoyMagic-- Travel , Resident and Business Guide to Xiamen and FujianXiamen Gulangyu Kulangyu Kolongsoo Kolongsu KulongsuGulangyu Guide to Fukien Fuhken Fujian Guides Mystic Quanzhou -- the fabled port of Zayton ( or Zaytun Zaitun Zaiton ) from which Marco Polo sailed,  Sinbad the Arab visited.  ChinchewQuanzhou Zhangzhou  changchow Zhangzhou Longyan Yongding Liancheng Changting Amoy Tigers LianchengLongyan Wuyi Mountain Guide Zhuxi  tea Wuyi Mtn Ningde Taimu Mountain ZhouningNingde Putian Fujian Xianyou Mazu TemplePutian Sanming Scenic Wonderland Mingxi Gem bed rubies Sanming
Zhouning Carp VillageZhouning
Hakka Earthen architecture Taimu Mtn. Hakka Earthen architecture Roundhouses Fujian covered wooden bridgesBridges Hakka Earthen architecture Jiangxi Hakka Earthen architecture Guilin Help Build an online  community for foreigners.  Join the Xiamen Guide forumOrder Books
Letters from AmoyMagic ReadersReaders' Letters

Gulangyu Kulangyu Kolongsoo Kolongsu Kulongsu
Gulangyu

Guide to Xiamen University Historic and modern, including departments -- Arts Science computers mathematics accounting management law department etc.Xiamen Univ

Mystic Quanzhou -- the fabled port of Zayton ( or Zaytun Zaitun Zaiton ) from which Marco Polo sailed,  Sinbad the Arab visited.  Chinchew
Quanzhou

AmoyMagic-- Travel , Resident and Business Guide to Xiamen and Fujian
XiamenGuide


Fujian Adv

Guide to Fukien Fuhken  Bilingual Chinese English Parallel with MP3 CDFujianGuide

Click to e-mail Dr. Bill Brown or Susan BrownClick to E-mail Email address for Bill and Sue Brown     Letters from AmoyMagic ReadersReaders'Letters

Last Updated: May 2007Return to main page and main menu of Amoymagic Return to Main Page       Return to top of pageBack to Top


DAILY LINKS
Frequently Asked Questions about Xiamen andFujianFAQs Questions?
Info on apartments or houses in Xiamen, real estate agentsReal Estate
Xiamen Shopping guide malls supermarketsShopping Download  Xiamen MapsMaps
Xiamen BookstoresBookstores
Train rail schedule for Xiamen, fukien Trains Amoy Bus ScheduleBusses
Car rental rent a car or van with driver in xiamen and fujianCar Rental

Xiamen hotels guesthouses hostels Hotels English News Services sources in Xiamen Fujian ChinaNews (CT)
Doctors Dentists Hospitals Clinics in Xiamen Jimei and Tong'an Medical & Dental
Xiamen YMCA and YWCAYMCA Volunteer! Xiamen International Christian Fellowship Expat Nondenominational interdenominational
Xiamen International Christian FellowshipXICF Fellowship 
Xiamen Churches Protestant Catholic Seventh Day Adventist Amoy Mission Missionaries AbeelChurches
Xiamen Expat Association Welcome SupportExpat Groups
Hire a Maid Household help servant baomu amah etc.Maids Xiamen Emergency and Frequently used telephone numbersPhone #s
EDUCATION
Xiamen University GuideXiamen University
Xiamen International School  International Baccalaureate ProgramXIS(Int'l School)
Study Mandarin Chinese or Minnan Dialect at Xiamen University  or with private tutorStudy Mandarin
 
China Studies Program Xiamen University  Council for Christian Colleges and Universities Washington D.C. Jay LundeliusCSP(China Studies)
Piano Island Music Events Xiamen Philharmonic OrchestraLibrary Xiamen Museum Library Science Center  World's largest organ museum Asia's largest piano museum China's first anthropology museum Sino Eurolpean art museum etc.Museums
History of Amoy Changchow Chinchew Zaiton Fukien etc.History
DINING
Xiamen restaurants dining western and Chinese cuisineRestaurants Xiamen Asian restaurants -- Singapore Thailand Thai Malaysian  Japanese Korean PhilippineAsian
Xiamen Vegetarian cuisine Nanputuo Temple Seventh Day Adventist Health foodVeggie Xiamen Restaurants Fast Food McDonalds KFC Kentucky Fried Chicken Pizza Hut Burger King (just kidding!) Cafes Coffee shopsJunk Food
Xiamen restaurants dining western and Chinese cuisineChinese Xiamen Italian Restaurants -- over 40!  Pizza pasta cheeseItalian
Western (Internationall) Cuisine in XiamenInternationalAlien visa info -- Americans, Europeans E.T. Outer space visitors
Chinese visa and passport informationVisas 4 aliens
RECREATION
Hakka Earthen architecture Massage!
Hakka Earthen architecture Beaches Kite Flying in Xiamen ChinaFly Kites
Sports -- Golf, Badminton Tennis Bowling Paint BallSports Xiamen Boardwalk One of the most beautiful boardwalks in China or anywhere else.  Along the Island Ring road over 6km long so far.Boardwalk
Xiamen Parks, recreation, hiking boardwalk etcParks Xiamen Museum Library Science Center etcPets
Bird watching in Xiamen Amoy  SwinhoeBirdwatching
Martial arts Chinese Kung FuKung Fu Hiking around Xiamen BushwalksHiking
Piano Island Music Events Xiamen Philharmonic OrchestraMusic Events
Chinese festivals and culture minnanFestival&Culture
Chinese Jokes Humor Funny China photosHumor&Chinese Jokes Humor Funny China photosFun Fotosfunny photos of China
BUSINESS
Doing Business Invest in Xiamen Fujian ChinaDoing Business
Work or teach in Xiamen, Quanzhou or other Fujian schools and universities  English French RussianJobs!(teach/work)
Hire permanent or temporary workers labor craftsmen maids tutorsHire Workers
Foreign Companies in Xiamen Joint Ventures Foreign Companies
China International Fair for Investment and Trade and Cross Straits Exchanges
CIFIT (Trade Fair)
Common Talk Xiamen Dailys Weekly English SupplementMTS(Translation)

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